Having Sex with a New Partner

When you find a new partner, sex is definitely something you might worry about. After all, having sex with a new partner can be a daunting experience. No matter how exhilarating the idea is, you might also worry about whether you will be “good enough,” if they will like you, if you will like them, if things will go well, if you will be sexually compatible, and all sorts of other pressing questions. So think long and hard before jumping into bed with a new partner.

Having Sex with a New Partner: When

The thought of having sex with a new partner can be exciting. But in order to make sure that the sex does not destroy the budding relationship, make sure that you are truly ready to jump into bed together.

  1. This means that you must be able to talk about sex before you have it! Remember that old saying: If you can’t talk about sex, you shouldn’t be having sex. Also you can talk about your preferences in bed.
  2. You must also make sure that your new partner has been tested and is clean of sexually transmitted diseases. This might be difficult to ask, but remember that you must know in order to stay healthy, and any good sexual partner will be more than happy to prove their STD status.
  3. Though you probably have visions of amazing sex in your head, most of the time those ideas do not match up to real life. In fact, most first sexual encounters are incredibly awkward as you both try to learn about the other person’s body. Be ready to laugh about things, and if you ever feel ashamed or concerned about your partner’s reactions, maybe you weren’t ready to have sex after all.
  4. And of course, always respect your partner’s decisions, and expect them to respect yours as well. Never have sex until you are truly ready, and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing it too early. If they do this, they don’t really have your best interests at heart.
  5. Never assume that your partner is having sex with only you. This is especially true in the beginning of a relationship, where someone might have had – or might still have – other relationships that are in various stages. Remember, when someone is dating you, they aren’t yet committed to you. Keep that in mind when you are thinking about having sex with a new partner.
  6. To learn more about someone before you sleep with them, consider their attitude toward sex. Do they seem to slut-shame anyone who views sex differently than they do? Do they have several partners and brag about it? Do they seem to have one night stands and not bother to get to know their lovers? These can tell you how you will be treated once you go to bed together.

Having Sex with a New Partner: How

  1. Set the scene. Clean sheets, nice candles, condoms at the ready – it will all help set the stage for a safe, fun night.
  2. Undress slowly. This is the first time you will see each other, so make it count. Do a striptease, take things slow, kiss every inch as it is uncovered.
  3. Start out slow. When having sex with a new partner, you want to make sure that you are both on the same page. Give plenty of time to potentially back out by going slow.
  4. Don’t go straight to intercourse. Kissing, touching, making out – these will all get you revved up for the big event. Intercourse should happen only when you are both dying to have it.
  5. Remember preferences. Some people believe that oral sex is not all that intimate, while others believe that it is more intimate than intercourse. Talk to your partner about what they do and don’t want to do.
  6. Make emotional connections. Gaze into his eyes, whisper into her ear – make the first time as special as you can by focusing only on your partner.
  7. Never run away. Don’t just get up and leave when you’re done. Stay and cuddle and sleep together if you have the time and inclination.
  8. Stay safe. There are a lot of STDs out there, and all of them are capable of causing a lot of havoc in your life. Avoid this by talking to your partner about cleanliness ad previous partners – does anyone have an STD? Always use condoms, no exceptions, and if she is on birth control, even better, as it will help avoid the risk of pregnancy. However, remember that no form of hormonal birth control will block an STD!
  9. Forget perfection. Having sex with a new partner can be exciting, but it’s not going to be perfect. You don’t know what each other likes yet, and you will have to have time to learn. It might be fun, but you might not get fireworks – yet. Give it a few weeks and lots more sex sessions to get the best out of the intimacy.

Etiquette tips for gentlemen:

  • Consider having woman controls the penetration. This helps ensure that she can handle her partner, and keeps the man from feeling as though he is going too far before she is ready.
  • She gets off first. She might not be able to enjoy the penetration as much as everything else, but she needs to have at least one climax, if she can achieve it.
  • No alcohol! Though it sounds counterintuitive, especially if you are shy or not feeling quite sexy, alcohol can actually make sex worse, especially if you are a man – it can keep you from performing! 
 
 
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