How to Fart on Command

Learning how to fart on command can make your life a tad more humorous. Fart jokes have been the corner stone of humor for many years, some may say tasteless, others may say hilarious. It can be beneficial, too. Like a squid releasing ink to flee from prey, we can release pungent odors to fend off attackers or unwantedguests. 

Steps to Fart on Command

For whatever reason you may have, there is a sure method to learn how to fart on command.

1. Ensure you are on a soft surface and grab a pillow.

2. Lie on your back and place your head sideways, with your ear touching the pillow.

3. Raise your butt in the air, as close to your head as physically possible. This position will loosen your anal opening.

4. Relax. You should feel a strange sensation, almost like a balloon inflating inside you. This is air entering your colon, this air can then be forced out, producing the fart you so eagerly desired.

5. Practice. Individuals can master this skill and replicate the same anal inhalation of air whilst sitting down through practice.  For further study, below is a video demonstration.

Tips for You to Fart on Command

1. Eat High Quantities of Foods Rich in Fiber

Most fart gasses are produced by bacteria in your gastrointestinal system feasting on the food that you eat. The bacteria react most intensely with foods high in fiber. If you want to learn how to fart on command, eating high-fiber foods will increase the amount of gas in your body, therefore making it easier. These foods include beans, whole grains and undercooked vegetables.

2. Drink Loads of Fizzy Beverages

Drinks that have been highly carbonated contain carbon dioxide, a gas that also makes up flatulence. Drinking these fizzy drinks, such as beer or soda, will increase your intake of carbon dioxide and help you fart on command. It is essential not to burp during consumption if you can help it, as the mouth is not the hole we desire this gas to escape through.

3. Suck Air Up With Your Butt

This is a tried and tested method for farting on command, although it may take some practice. Lie on your back, raise your legs and butt, wait for that balloon to fill with air and let it pop.

How to Fart on Command Louder

1. Apply a Force of Pressure

The volume of your fart is essentially a force of pressure (gas) meeting a resistance (sphincter). To increase the loudness of your flatulence, simply apply more force upon release. As apposed to let it slip out, force it out with all your might using the same muscles used for defecating. You can further accentuate the force by incorporating your abdominal muscles, by flexing them in one quick motion from top to bottom. Before you apply force to increase the volume of your fart, ensure it is only air trying to escape; otherwise the consequences could be very messy indeed.

2. Consider Your Posture and Create Resistance

Once you’ve mastered the force, it’s time to consider resistance to the force applied. Shaping your posture to make as difficult as possible for the gas to escape, but still achieve release. The best position is sitting down, with one cheek raised, or standing with your hips in neutral position.

3. Select a Place for Your Flatus to Echo

As with any sound, a fart will bounce of walls and surfaces creating reverberation. To further amplify your flatulence, sit on a hard flat surface before release, or in a bath tub surrounded by tiled walls. Surrounding yourself with hard flat surfaces will achieve the best echo possible for your fart and create an apocalyptic howl that will make the ground tremble.

4. Add Some Moisture

Moisture in the air or around the anus helps to crate a seal, applying more resistance to the force. This can cause the anus to rapidly release and reseal during the release of a fart, achieving a stuttered effect sought out by the connoisseurs of flatulence. 

 
 
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