Before pregnancy things were just great in the aspect of sex. However, now that the baby has arrived, first time sex after baby becomes a bit challenging. With new responsibilities and a changed body, you may have lots of questions about first time sex after delivery. Our experts will help explain some of the issues you might face.
When Can You Have Sex Again After Giving Birth?
Women should wait at least three weeks after delivery to ensure any bleeding has stopped. This allows enough time for the wound left by the placenta in the uterus to heal. Any sex before the bleeding has stopped puts you at risk for infection. After that, timing of first time sex after baby depends on whether you are physically and emotionally ready to resume sexual activity. Some couples begin having sex within the first month after the birth, while others may wait until six weeks have passed. Within three months most women have tried sex again, although some couples will wait as long as six months. What really matters is that if you both feel comfortable to have sex before you postnatal checkup (about six weeks after birth), feel free to do so. In fact, some health care professionals suggest having sex before the checkup to find and address any issues that may arise.
What Problems Will You Run Into During First Sex After Baby?
Even though you or your partner might be ready for sex in four to six weeks, that doesn't mean it will be the same as what it was before pregnancy. Here are some issues you may run into:
1. Your Body Might Not Be Ready
Try not to underestimate the amount of time it takes your body to heal from C-section or episiotomy. Even if you are no longer sore, your body might still not be ready for sex. Caring your new baby may make you exhausted and overwhelmed. What is more important is to take it easy on yourself and give your body ample time to adjust to the new normal. Additionally, it is important to keep your partner informed on how you feel and maintain your intimacy in other ways like cuddling and kissing, instead of sex. Just so you know, you'll feel like your old frisky self again soon enough.
2. You Just Can't Wait
Some women just can't wait to jump back into the sack with their partner before the standard six-week waiting period. This is a perfectly normal feeling. If your bleeding has stopped and your body feels up to the task, go ahead and enjoy. However, try not to be so eager that you risk hurt yourself by not leaving enough time for the healing process. It would be wise to check with your physician to make sure all postpartum bleeding has stopped, lest you risk infection.
3. Breast Tenderness and Lactation
Mothers who choose to breast feed newborns face challenges from hormones that lower libido. Furthermore, breast tenderness after a day of breast-feeding can also interfere with the joys of lovemaking. You may just want them to be left alone at the end of the day. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to mitigate breast tenderness and make sex more comfortable. Try wearing your nursing bra or a tank top during sex. Other solutions might include nursing your newborn just before sex, so they are not full and swollen.
4. It Doesn't Feel Right
It's perfectly normal for first time sex after baby to just not feel right. This is because the vaginal muscles may have been temporarily stretched out. However, it usually can be corrected with Kegel exercise. By exercising the Kegel muscles that encircle the vagina, you will strengthen your pelvic floor, giving you better control and making sex more sensational. Furthermore, strong Kegels improve blood circulation to the vagina, increases tone and lubrication, heightens arousal, and enhances orgasms.
5. It May Be Painful
When first time sex after baby is painful, one culprit could be vaginal dryness due to hormones. More importantly, it may be because you are trying sex too early. You need to make sure that you're not aggravating a C-section, episiotomy stitch or a tear. Make sure you have a water-based lubricant on hand until your body returns to a more normal state. If the pain persists, see your doctor immediately, you may have an infection.
Many women are self-conscious about the changes to their body after delivery. Again, it's normal to be aware of the weight gain, stretch marks, bigger feet and perhaps even a scar. Some changes can take up to a year to correct. Meanwhile, be patient and diligent. Your uterus should return to normal size in about two months, and a regular regimen of exercise can help with the added weight gains. Additionally, over the counter medications and creams can help with the stretch marks and any scarring from a C-section. Getting back to your old self just takes some time, but is fully attainable.
7. The "I'm-Married-to-a-Mother Syndrome"
You're ready, but he's not! Why is my partner now shying away from me? Actually, some males are brought up believing that mothers fall into a separate category. What makes it even more difficult for these men to get past this is if they were also in the delivery room during childbirth. Now that you are a mother, it can turn some men on, but for others it's not. If you feel that your partner is shying away from sexual activity because he sees you differently, sit down and have an open and sincere conversation with him. You'll not only have to remind him that even though the family has changed, you are still the same sexy women he used to know; and although you are now a mother, you are also his lover!
8. What About Contraception?
In order to reduce risks of pregnancy and other health issues, some researches recommend waiting at least 18 to 24 months before attempting your next pregnancy. However when you are ready, first time sex after baby or any sex after delivery requires a reliable method of contraception. Option available right after delivery includes an intrauterine device or IUD. Other options could include progestin-only contraceptive injection such as Depo-Provera or the mini-pill. Women who are healthy can begin to use combined birth control pills and other contraceptive measures about six weeks after delivery.
Watch the video to know the feeling about first sex after baby and how to make that experience better: